Is it a change in conviction or is it finding it again?

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think that you dare not, you don’t.
If you’d like to win, but think you can’t,
Its almost certain that you won’t.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins,
Is the one who thinks he can.
-Walter D. Wintle

I posted this as a comment in another’s blog today. I haven’t posted here in a while for various reasons. The biggest reason is that as of late most of the games I have been playing were not feeling like games. It didn’t matter if it was a MMO or a single player. I felt my enjoyment was a bit empty. My enjoyment felt materialistic based in a material world. I was inspired to start a blog due to an upcoming game. When that inspiration was no longer there I felt at odds posting here.

In the last two months I have been attending the practices of my local group in the Society for Creative Anachronism. I felt compelled to return after a long hiatus. I stopped for all the wrong reasons. I mentioned about getting active again to my wife. It was at her prodding I started to come back even though I can not fight due to shoulder issues.

I am getting much more back than I would have thought. It has been fun working limitedly with new fighters on basics. I have been diving into projects just because I can. It is amazingly fun. I feel much more enjoyment and fulfillment in what I do now than I ever get with gaming be it raiding or role play in nature. There I may now get a trinket that is a bunch of 0s and 1s. MMORPG have moved away from Koster’s view, reward is getting better at a game, to simple loot based reward. I think that developers think that the only way to retain/increase players (read revenue) is to turn the games into Skinner boxes. It is my thought that is what ails the MMORPG industry in that people are tending to flit from game to game. Each game they think they’ll get enjoyment final. But come to find out it is a Skinner box and move on to the next great thing. Which sadly for them will be another Skinner box. There was an interesting story on technology and Skinner on NPR today [Online Marketers Take Note Of Brains Wired For Rewards

What I get in reward, from my SCA activity as of late, is oddly and amazingly both concrete and ephemeral at the same time. More on the saying at the top will be coming later.